Is it really my day?

Dear my January 5th 1998,

Today..

It's been 19 years of your journey being in this world. I know exactly how hard your life is, but really, you have to be more thankful and be humble to your world. You've been wasting your time on thinking about someone who never think about you, or you've been holding too long into something that doesn't really into you.

I know it's hurt to be left by someone you really want to be with, but you know, you've been hurted many people. As you made your friends dissapointed on you, as you made yourself lost focus on work, as you made your readers waiting...


I know it's so hard today,

when no one really have a time to spent it with you.
When you have to sit at the same cafe for lunch and late dinner by your own self..
Just with your meal and your blank space.

I know how stupid and reckless you are to share everything to your world since your world is getting bigger than it used to be. I know all you want to do is to show people that you are happy, but the more you try to be happy, the more pathetic you are.


I know how you wished someone will remember this day instead of saying, "i know its thursday". I know how you wished he would call as the night is goes by. I know how you wished he would stop by and say a word. I know.


But the more you get older, the more you have to realize that now you have to take care of yourself. Everybody has their own bussiness so don't expect too much, that's the point of being 19.


I know how your 18 seems pretty okay but really it's a mess.

Please,
please be real.
Please,
please stop hurting yourself.

Please.

Don't hope.
Don't destroy yourself
Be happy.

Just because someone left, it doesn't mean you're not worth it, you're not good enough.

Stop to hurt your self...

Just because someone ignore you, it doesn't mean no one will love you, no one will understand you..


Please, just take care of your heart.


It's your 19.

And every good things may happens in the next 364 days.
Just do good and good things will come to you,
slowly,
and then all at once.



Happy birthday Tipluk,

happy birthday,
be mature,
be happy,
be humble.




Allah loves you, you know.



Going to the same cafe for twice  today, all alone and this is my literally face for today.
I'm a mess.


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