If you wrote me a letter. (27 Days of Heartbreak)

On my last Sunday before I started working, I went to Central Park with my laptop in order to have me time with Sushi Tei and a cup of Hazelnut Chocolate at Starbucks. I've planned to wrote Overlook episode 4 but suddenly my best friend just run out to me and ask for lunch. So until she came up, I decided to go to bookstore with my own playlist and enjoying the moment. But I found this book.

I opened up the last page and suddenly I cried..

It was beautiful, yet painful.

It was a letter from a man whom she loved who never wrote her back even once. But he finally did, and it was on the 27th days of her heartbreak. It reminds me of someone.. Someone that I loved for almost a year. Someone who received lots of words from me. Someone who never really writes me back. Hmm.. While I read the letter, I listened to Someday by Nina and wondering if I could write him back....

It must be sounds like this.

***

[The letter he wrote]

Hi.

How are you?

I know you must be shocked reading this letter. In fact, I surprised myself writing this. You know that I'm not a man of words, as I always let you slip those post-it notes inside my coat or post them on the door, or in between work papers I brought sometimes when we spent weekends together. Remember that? And it was almost embarrasing as I could only smile after reading it, and how I wished I could have kissed you right there and then, but it wasn't possible, because I always found those notes aftaer we parted.

And that is exactly why this letter is written.

I have read your blog.

It took me a while to find it, a few days after you started it.

It could have been any other stranger but, without going into details, I knew it's you.

We were together long enough for me to know you from a distance.

I'm not sure what to say, because any words might invoke meanings that range from being unintended to hurtful to relief.

I'm sorry for what we had to go through and I'm sorry that this had to end.

But more than that, I just want you to know that we are always here for each other.

We may not be together anymore, and we know it was the best decision we have ever made, preventing ourselves from rotten future.

Someday, past the wondering of "what if?", I hope we can look back at what we had as a stepping stone. Everyone is made of beautiful memories, or somethig like that. Something that you always quoted from the film where the two lead actors spend their time walking and talking around Paris.

Ours is much more  than beautiful.

Ours will last, and it will show in each of our future relationship.

I miss you. I miss us.

But this feeling comes and goes in a puff.

What stays in the wish that, one day, we look at each other again and smile.

The smile that says, "thank you for always being there for me."

Love,

Me.

Ps: How's that for a man of not many words?

(Source: 27 Days of Heartbreak book)

***

[I wrote him back]

Hey, you.

The bussiest workaholic man in the town just wrote me a letter. What a surprise! Anyway, do you really want to know how it was?  

Honestly.. You don't have to regret all the word you've written down there, it's far from terrible. It was beautiful, I swear to God I want to run to you and cry. You never fail me, dear my box full of surprises and happiness.

I don't have much to say because I know you barely know me as you said on your letter. Even from distances, you know me more than anyone else. You know how I would react to the problem without even heard my decision.

The last day we met was awful yet pathetic. I'm sorry to hurt you. I've hurt you too much to realize that you've been trying to heal yourself and trust me to change. I'm sorry for everything that I've done. But you know that I've never meant to let you down.

I'm so grateful to have you. I'm so grateful. I couldn't imagine how am I right now if I've never met you that day. If we never bumped to each other after we break the relationship. If you never really caring me that way.

And whatever happened in the past, let it be memories between us. Now, I know we're still in healing process but I hope one day if we meet again... 

You'll look at my eyes and say, "Hi."

And I'll look at your eyes and say, "Hi there."

And no one still get hurts to each other, no one still get disappointed to everything that we've done.

I miss you. I still miss you.

I thought I can't passed a day without you. At first, maybe. It was painful.. It hurt me.. Sometimes I found my self cried out loud every night at 2 am. I'm scared to think about you. But I believe that someday someone gonna come and take your place. Someone gonna heal my pain. And someday when I miss you, it doesn't hurt anymore...

Someday, I will forget this pain as you will forget yours.

Someday, you won't be in the first place anymore.

I could pass it.. I could forget you. I just need a little bit longer than your time to forget me.

Last but not least,

please kindly keep those post-its, boxes, notebooks and those letter I've written for you. 

I know we're no longer together, but let's keep our memories stay pretty happy as it was.

Don't forget to have a lunch and sleep well.

I love you...
and thank you for changed my world to be better. 

Love,

your favorite writer.