my thesis defense day; people are SUPER trustworthy

 Good morning, people! Rise and shine!

When I wrote this post, it;s 4,5 hours to my thesis defense. I'm pretty sure you'll be like, "what tf are you doing? Why are you having time to blogging now?" Wkwkwk. Chill people, chill. I've been doing this project for ... A year and I'm sure I'm gonna nailed it. But anyway, a day before my thesis defense due, I've got some pretty bad news from our beloved previous almost-ex-boyfriend. Well, he misinterpreted my Instagram STORY (which is kinda lame, I know, how tf he knew my IG Story since he didn't follow my account anymore).

After those incident which led me to two conclusion; 1. I've got super trustworthy people on my Instagram second account, 2. I've got SUPER DUPER trustworthy people on my Twitter hahaha. I learnt that maybe after all good things and appreciation that we gave to someone, it won't ever be enough and always be something bad once they ONLY think bad about us. Pardon my grammar but fck grammar, I just need a space to share that life is totally like a prank.

But thankfully, I'm sane enough to realize that I shouldn't take his harsh words towards me which not even trueeee. Hahahahaha. I won't let him destroy me the way he did last year. I've given up all of my self to him and he destroyed me that easily. A year of full hatred and harsh words towards my self are more than enough. I don't care if he still got guts on his hands. I decided to let go all the anger and guts that I thought I should say another sorry for him in order to feel relieved. But he doesn't deserve me. He doesn't deserve my kindness anymore.

So boy, if universe is kind enough and drag you here ... I want you to know that I've been thinking about you and still feel awful with my self. But once I knew you had those pretty bad thoughts about me after all shits I've done to you, you got it all wrong, dude. Let me tell you that I've given you bunch of appreciation and it's NO LONGER my responsibility to get you one since you never even say thank you and feel thankful towards my affection. If you want to spend the rest of your life with full of hates and braging here and there that I'm ruined your mental health, I hope that one day you will realize that the one who is ruined because this relationship isn't only you. It's me also included to that bullshit games and being thrown EVERYDAY by your anger and your bluntness that hurt me and made me think that I'm not good enough. If you want to be like this for the rest of your life, that's okay.

But one day you will realize that the one who hurt you is the one who also being hurt by you. The one who you hate the most is the one who ever gave all of her efforts, time, money, energy and all the opportunities for you. This is the one who had ever loved you, long ago.

Thankfully, we're no longer together and thank you for whoever did this to me. You showed me that I don't have to waste my time to feel awful by my self and thought that I owed him another sorry.

Last but not least, if you planned to break me, please just step back. You won't get anything because I won't ever let you make me feel down again. I know my value and I won't let it down just for someone who don't even appreciate my affections and feelings. Thanks for making my last day as S1 student seems like a rollercoaster road. I'm out, dude.

Damn. Moving on never been this good.